How to Stop the Inner Critic from Running the Show

You make a mistake. Or think you might have.

And before you can take a breath, the voice kicks in.

“You always do this.”

“You’re not good enough.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

It’s that voice again — the one that sounds like it’s just being honest, but somehow always leaves you feeling small, ashamed, or stuck. The inner critic doesn’t yell. It whispers. And it knows exactly where to hit.

Most of us live with that voice in our heads. But too many of us let it take over.

This article isn’t about silencing the inner critic completely. It’s about learning how to stop letting it run the show — and how to reclaim a gentler, more helpful voice that actually moves you forward.

What is the inner critic, really?

The inner critic is that internal monologue that points out your flaws, questions your worth, and fixates on what went wrong. It often disguises itself as self-awareness or high standards. But underneath, it’s usually driven by fear — of failure, rejection, disappointment, or shame.

In psychology, we often frame the inner critic as a protective mechanism. It tries to keep you safe from danger, even if that danger is just discomfort. Somewhere along the way, your brain learned that being critical might help you avoid mistakes, embarrassment, or letting people down.

But what starts as protection quickly becomes paralysis.

When I let my critic take the wheel

A few years ago, I was asked to speak at a senior leadership forum — the kind of opportunity I would’ve jumped at earlier in my career. But by the time the invitation came through, I was burned out, stretched thin, and quietly second-guessing myself.

I accepted the invite anyway. Then I spent the next week tearing myself apart.

“You’re not across the material, and everyone will know it.”

“Everyone else has more experience.”

“You’re going to sound like such an idiot.”

I wasn’t just anxious. I was on a loop. That voice kept repeating until I wasn’t preparing anymore — I was just panicking.

It wasn’t until I caught myself avoiding the work altogether that I realised something: this wasn’t fear of the task. It was a fear of not being perfect.

The critic wasn’t helping. It was hijacking and changing the goalposts of what “success” looked like for me.

The cost of letting it run the show

When the inner critic dominates your internal world, everything starts to feel harder.

You hesitate to speak up. You second-guess your choices. You dwell on old conversations. You say yes when you mean no. You overwork to avoid feeling like a fraud. And you become so focused on being “enough” that you forget what it feels like to be whole.

Over time, this erodes self-trust. You don’t just fear failure — you start expecting it.

And that constant mental background noise? It’s exhausting.

How to respond to the inner critic (without pretending it doesn’t exist)

You don’t need to silence the inner critic. You just need to stop giving it the final word.

The first shift is recognition. When that voice shows up, name it. Not as truth, but as habit. I often say out loud: “Oh, hello again. Thanks for the input.” That simple move helps create space between the voice and the person hearing it.

Next comes curiosity. Instead of asking, “Why am I like this?” try asking, “What is this voice trying to protect me from?” Often, it’s fear of not being in control. Of not being liked. Of being exposed. When you understand the motive, you stop being bullied by the volume.

We get to choose Curiosity over Judgement.

And finally, you begin building a different voice. One that encourages, coaches, and supports you. A voice that can say, “That was a hard moment”, instead of “You ruined everything.” A voice that sounds like someone who’s got your back.

It won’t feel natural at first. But like any habit, it gets stronger the more you practice it.

What if the critic feels too loud to handle alone?

For some, the inner critic is tied to old wounds. Childhood dynamics. Cultural or workplace conditioning. Past trauma. High-functioning anxiety. If the voice feels overwhelming or constant, that’s not weakness. That’s a flag.

You don’t have to untangle it alone. A therapist or coach can help you explore where that voice comes from and how to build new, more empowering ones.

Support doesn’t make you soft. It makes you self-aware.

Final thought: You don’t have to be your own bully

The inner critic may never disappear completely. But it doesn’t get to drive anymore. It doesn’t get to decide what you’re capable of. And it certainly doesn’t get the last word.

What if you’re not failing? What if you’re just learning to lead yourself differently?

Start there — you've got this! 💪

—MRB

My goal is to help people thrive in a complex world. While I write as a psychologist, this content is general in nature, does not constitute a therapeutic relationship, and is not a substitute for personalised mental healthcare advice. Further, some posts may include affiliate links to resources I recommend. Read my full site policy here.