Why Men Struggle to Talk About Mental Health
It’s June — Men’s Mental Health Month. You’ll see more conversations happening online, more statistics being shared, and more encouragement for men to speak up if they’re struggling.
But for many men, that still feels easier said than done.
Even as awareness grows, the reality is that a lot of men still find it difficult to talk openly about their mental health. Not because they don’t want to. But because they don’t know how. Or because the perceived fear of judgment — of being seen as weak, dramatic, or broken — is louder than the pain they’re trying to manage.
If we’re serious about tackling men’s mental health, we need more than hashtags and awareness days. We need to understand what’s stopping men from speaking, and how we can create safer, more practical paths forward.
The silence starts early
From a young age, boys are taught to toughen up. They’re told to stop crying, shake it off, and push through. Vulnerability is often seen as weakness. Sensitivity gets shut down. Emotional expression is something you learn to hide, not something you’re encouraged to explore.
This isn’t just about “toxic masculinity.” It’s about cultural scripts passed down through generations. Scripts that teach men to problem-solve but not process. To stay composed but not connected. To protect others, but never admit they need protecting too.
By the time boys become men, many of them have no language for their inner world. They know what to do, but not how to feel. And when life gets hard, silence becomes the default response.
The consequences of emotional suppression
When emotions have nowhere to go, they don’t disappear. They resurface as irritability, detachment, aggression, or burnout. They show up in strained relationships, poor sleep, overworking, or numbing behaviours like excessive drinking or scrolling.
Sometimes they show up as physical symptoms — chest tightness, fatigue, or gut issues — because the body keeps the score when the mind can’t speak.
And sometimes, tragically, they don’t show up at all until it’s too late. Men are overrepresented in suicide statistics, particularly in midlife. Not because men don’t care about mental health, but because many don’t feel safe or equipped to ask for help.
Why the usual advice isn’t enough
“Just talk about it” sounds simple. But it’s not always accessible. Especially for men who were never taught how to name what they feel, let alone express it out loud.
Traditional mental health messaging often focuses on emotional language, therapy models, or self-care practices that can feel distant or even patronising to some men. It’s not that men don’t want to talk — it’s that the entry points don’t always feel like they’re made for them.
We need more relatable ways to start the conversation. And more permission to do it in a way that feels real, not rehearsed.
What actually helps
Start by making it low-pressure. Conversations don’t need to be dramatic or deep right away. Some of the best emotional check-ins happen shoulder-to-shoulder — during a walk, a drive, or while fixing something together. It doesn’t have to be a therapy session. It just has to be real.
Use experiences before emotions. Ask, “What’s been the hardest part of your week?” or “What’s been draining lately?” That’s often easier than, “How are you feeling?”
Notice physical signs of distress. If someone’s sleeping poorly, getting irritable, or withdrawing, that might be how their mental health is showing up. You can gently reflect that back: “You don't seem to be sleeping well lately. Want to talk about it?”
And if you’re the one struggling, try naming it in the simplest way possible. You don’t have to explain everything. You can just say, “I’m not doing great. I don’t even know where to start, but I needed to say something.”
Morgan Byas
Supporting the men in your life
If you’re supporting someone else, your job isn’t to fix them. It’s to stay present. Be curious. Listen more than you speak. Don’t rush to reassure or explain things away. And don’t make it about you.
What helps most is knowing someone can sit with them, even in the mess. That they don’t have to perform strength in order to be worthy of support.
Be patient. They may not open up straight away. But every calm, non-judgmental check-in builds safety.
Redefining what strength really means
Strength is not the absence of emotion. It’s the willingness to face it.
Men don’t need to become therapists or master vulnerability overnight. But they do need spaces — and support — to explore their emotional lives without fear of ridicule or shame.
Talking about mental health doesn’t make you less of a man. It makes you more connected, more self-aware, and ultimately, more resilient.
So this Men’s Mental Health Month, let’s go beyond awareness. Let’s normalise quiet honesty. Let’s support real conversations. And let’s remind each other that struggling is part of being human, and speaking up is a sign of strength.
—MRB
My goal is to help people thrive in a complex world. While I write as a psychologist, this content is general in nature, does not constitute a therapeutic relationship, and is not a substitute for personalised mental healthcare advice. Further, some posts may include affiliate links to resources I recommend. Read my full site policy here.
Member discussion